Do you need to be right all the time?

Have you ever tried to intro­duce a new idea, but had peo­ple tell you that it is a bad idea? Have you ever voiced a con­cern, or offered an alter­na­tive direc­tion, and heard some­one say to you:

“No, that won’t work…that’s not possible…that’s not relevant.”

It can be unset­tling to face resis­tance, espe­cially when the resis­tance hap­pens in front of oth­ers. It can feel like a huge blow, and can be very hard to swal­low the fact that peo­ple don’t see where you are com­ing from. It seems as though UX Pro­fes­sion­als in par­tic­u­lar feel tempted not to voice their opin­ion at all, when they have faced too much resis­tance. How­ever, we can’t let these things get to us. We need to learn to let things roll off our backs, and move on. Here are five tips and advice that UX pro­fes­sion­als can use to approach conflict:

1. Change your atti­tude. UX pro­fes­sion­als think very highly of them­selves, and have a ten­dency to posi­tion them­selves as higher, or more impor­tant than oth­ers. When oth­ers resist their idea, it comes into con­flict with how they view them­selves — how could any­one not sup­port my bril­liant design deci­sion? How could they not under­stand all this bril­liant research I have done? News­flash: you are not more impor­tant than any­one else. So, change your atti­tude, get over it, drop the ego, and move on.

2. Be hum­ble and gen­tle. You may be very pas­sion­ate about your idea, and you may want change to hap­pen no mat­ter what the cost. You might be tempted to talk about your years of expe­ri­ence and accom­plish­ments, think­ing that it makes you more cred­i­ble, and that they should lis­ten to you more. But this just makes you come off arro­gant and con­ceited. It really does NOTHING for your cause. Also, be sen­si­tive to the fact that maybe those you are talk­ing to are not ready to fully embrace your idea. Give them the oppor­tu­nity to solve the prob­lem as well — treat them the way you want to be treated, and seek out their think­ing and exper­tise on the issue. Be gen­tle and soft-mannered in your response back.

3. Do not intro­duce a new idea out of self­ish ambi­tion. Before talk­ing with your team about a new idea, deter­mine why you are intro­duc­ing this new idea. Your team will be able to sniff out any self­ish rea­son you are try­ing to get them to adopt your think­ing, espe­cially if you are look­ing to get more recog­ni­tion. Think instead about what would be best for the team, and for your fel­low team­mates. Gen­er­ate new ideas and opin­ions that make them shine, advance, give them more flex­i­bil­ity, or help them become a more bal­anced employee.

4. Don’t con­sider per­fec­tion as some­thing you can grasp. Accept the fact that you will fail, and make mis­takes, and that oth­ers will make mis­takes too. You can’t pos­si­bly be per­fect at every­thing, and mis­takes will come, no mat­ter how hard you try to pre­vent them. Keep a notepad with you at all times — when you make a mis­take, write it down, and what you will do dif­fer­ently next time. Then move on. Also, don’t expect oth­ers to be per­fect either — they are human, just like you.

5. Be patient. Your idea may be a good one, or you may have a legit­i­mate con­cern. How­ever it might just not be the right time to intro­duce your idea. You can always come back to it later, if you feel you are still con­cerned. But just be patient for your team to get to a point where they are ready to try your new idea.

You don’t have to be right all the time, and you don’t have to stress when oth­ers don’t see things from your point of view. Life goes on, and if you treat each other right, you might just get more accom­plished than you thought you could have otherwise.